Love is a Battlefield
by CourtneyEllen
Summary: Week 6: "Let me hug you."


Death. That is all that surrounded him. Sure, they had won, but at what cost?

Colin Creevey, killed because he wouldn't follow orders. He would never snap another picture in his life. He was only sixteen years old and his younger brother was inconsolable by the entrance of the Great Hall.

Lavender Brown, mauled by Greyback and no matter how Hermione or Trelawney took the wolf out, the young Gryffindor who was always up to date with the latest fashions would never see her eighteenth birthday. Padma and Parvati sat by her prone form, both two distraught to pull back the bloodied sheet.

Severus Snape, a man who had protected him for his life and he had treated like absolute rubbish. The man, until his very end, that had kept him safe and fought for the light because he was his mother's son. Regardless if he despised his father or not, Severus Snape loved Lily Evans and would keep her son safe no matter the cost. The cost had been his life, slowly choking on snake venom as he begged the younger male to take his memories so he could see. So he could witness what Snape had been hiding away all of his life. His last words were some that he had heard multiple times since entering the wizarding world, but he still cried at the simple phrase being uttered from the dying potion master's mouth.

"You have your mother's eyes."

Remus and Tonks, killed side-by-side, defending the castle. Tonks was killed by her aunt who cackled about her half-blood status and Remus by some death eater that he vaguely recognized. The last of the Marauders gone from the world, taking one of the best aurors with him. Their poor son left at home, barely able to eat solid foods and would wake up an orphan. He would never wish that on any baby.

Many children were parentless and parents searched for their fallen children. No matter the side they fought on, there was no discrimination now. A fallen wizard was a fallen wizard and was lined up with the rest of the dead in the hall that he had once eaten breakfast with his friends and worried himself over Quidditch. The mere realization had his stomach spinning and he had to choke back vomit.

Fred Weasley had been the hardest loss. He had never seen Ron collapse to his knees before, not even when Hermione had been tortured. Never had he seen Mr. Weasley crying, not even after being attacked by a snake. The Weasleys had never looked as heartbroken as they were crowded around the fallen form of one of their own. George's anguished sobs would haunt him for life, the twin no longer with his other half next to him. Mrs. Weasley and Fleur's silent tears had crushed his heart and he wished that he had stayed dead on the forest floor.

Why had he gotten to live when so many other had not? What was so special about Harry 'Couldn't Fucking Stay Dead' Potter? No matter the reassurances from Hermione and Ron, he did not feel welcomed over with the Weasleys, the family still mourning their fallen son. Fred had lost his life because of him. All of these people had lost family and friends because of Harry. And Merlin did it weigh on him.

The young man was suffocating, feeling unwelcomed in the hall that smelt of death and decay. He sat far away from everyone, not feeling welcomed by even Luna's understanding gaze. He had won, but Harry wished that he had fallen dead just like Voldemort had. It would have been easier than all of this guilt that he was left with. Survivor's guilt was the worst, but none could stand up to the self-loathing that the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice was currently going through.

"You alright, Harry?" A soft voice asked, the green eyed boy looking up to meet eyes with someone he had not expected. Dean Thomas. Harry had not really spoken to Dean since the other broke up with Ginny, but there were no hard feelings between them. Dean and Ginny's break up had amicable. Harry really hoped that Ginny would not ask him to get back together with her. Yeah, they shared a kiss in all the commotion of Hogwarts readying for battle, but he couldn't even look in the Weasleys direction, let alone date one of them. He would forever be left with feeling guilty for Fred.

"I suppose I should be," Harry answered bitterly. Even Hermione had believed that he would be fine after the battle. So what Voldemort was gone, that was nothing to celebrate. At least not in Harry's books. So many had died and suffered in this battle and it didn't feel like a victory.

"You don't have to be anything Harry," Dean replied back, not unkindly. Harry always admired that about Dean. No matter the situation, he always attempted to be the level-headed one. He was not quick to anger and always remained the peace keeper along with Neville in their dorm.

"Tell that to the lot of them," Harry's bitterness turned to mutters, not wanting others to hear them. What would them say hearing such loathe-filled words coming out of their 'precious savior's' lips? He watched as Dean moved towards him, his footsteps determined.

"Let me hug you." Dean commanded simply, not thinking it would be wise to just wrap his arms around Harry. He could feel the hatred in the other Gryffindor and couldn't tell if it was at the situation or himself. Probably both if Dean's history with Harry proved anything.

"What?" Harry asked, his eyes blinking owlishly. Dean repeated his question, trying to keep his face straight and not smile because Harry looked so damn cute when he was confused. Harry was still confused, but nodded his head anyway. Thinking it was Dean that needed the comfort and he didn't have anyone to rely on for it right now. His mother and step-father were Muggles and both were far from this war as Dean could get them.

But once those surprisingly strong arms wrapped around him, the tear gates flooded. Dean held the 'savior' as he silently cried into his chest, rubbing his back gently. He glared at any who looked their way, even the Weasleys and Hermione, daring them to comment on Harry's weakened state. How dare they all believe that Harry was some immortal, unfeeling god. Harry was a seventeen year old, just like many of them and he had lost his childhood to a war that his parents had started and lost to.

Dean pressed a kiss to the side of Harry's temple and murmured reassurances to him. He didn't promise anything or say it will get better because Harry didn't need that. No, he let him know that it was fine to cry and that the others had fought not only for his life, but theirs as well. This was not Harry's fault and Dean would hold Harry until the Gryffindor understood that.

Even when Harry cried himself out and pulled away from the hug, Dean was at his side for the rest of the day. He wouldn't let anyone get to close to Harry and held the other man's waist protectively. Seamus had nodded his way understanding Dean's protectiveness and Ron had a huffed at him as if he was an annoyance, but Dean held his ground. He was not going to let Harry lose himself on this battlefield. Even if he had to pull him from the brink himself.

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I hope you guys like this chapter! See you guys next week!


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